I blink fast to try to clear the blur from the water leaking from my eyes as I contemplate my surroundings. The hustle and bustle around me with voices ranging from joyous laughter to angry banter cause me to reflect on times past. Days of confusion and fear fill my memory of holidays oh so long ago. The aroma of alcohol and drugs are so strongly embedded in my mind that I gag shaking my head to try to dispel the scent. “Mommy, mommy look Santa came!” Yes, Santa only came because the lady at Head Start loved my family and looked out for us when we had nothing. “Mommy why is your eye red?” “It’s okay baby, go play with your new toy from Santa.” Sadly my 6 year old knew why my eye was red but what do you say to a question like that. The smiles of that day were plastic trying to shield the void in my soul and the fear that plagued every waking moment. Under my feet the crunching sound of eggshells filled my ears yet no one could know, no one could see, no one could help.
“Ma’am? May I help you?” The vision center worker broke through my thoughts bringing me back to today. “Yes, yes I’m here to order glasses.”
Driving home from the vision center, my mind reaches back once again to the days of old. Glimpses of my past have been entering my thoughts lately. I know it’s time for yet another process of healing to unfold for me. As soon as I think there is nothing more to work on in my life, God puts His finger on something and says “What about this?” My response tends to be “Let’s put that under the rug and leave it alone” but God says “No”. He always wins, after all, He is God and I am not, He knows best and His timing is perfect. Am I ready for the next level of healing? I hear Him whisper “Yes, my daughter” So with a heavy sigh I say “Yes Lord, let the next level of healing begin.”
What is the Lord putting His finger on in your life? Will you say Yes and let the healing begin?
I am excited to announce that I am a co-author with 22 Christian women who share their brave stories in this beautiful new book called “The Art of Brave Living”. First of all I praise God for allowing me the opportunity as I have known for many years that I am a writer that would one day write books. My freshman year high school teacher Mrs. Bjorklund would chase me down in the cafeteria to encourage me to enter writing contests. I had no desire to be in any writing contests at that time of my life but I knew that English was my favorite subject and I enjoyed writing poetry.
Fast forward a few years and my goal in life was to become a print journalist. That goal was tossed aside when I was interviewed for a story in a newspaper and the journalist twisted my story. She apologized and told me the hard facts about print journalism. I knew that writing would somehow be a part of my life as I loved to read but unless I was going to write an underground newspaper I would not be going into print journalism. At that time I was working at a job where I created a monthly newsletter which I thoroughly enjoyed.
For approximately 10 years now I have felt a strong prompting to begin writing my story. I literally have tons of journals with enough material for several books but I was always afraid to take the steps to actually write the books. I also knew that there was much healing that needed to happen in my life before I could actually share anything anywhere. That healing began in 2009 and has been ongoing ever since. I was presented with the opportunity to join a group of women to share their stories about being brave. I knew it was time to take a step forward to being a published author. I thought this would be a great introduction into the world of books.
I have learned so much about birthing a book over the past 5 months. It’s a brave action to take for sure. I am especially thankful to Diane Cunningham for the opportunity to join her in her 7th book and my first as a co-author. I learned a lot about being brave from Diane several years ago when she had a Be Brave email challenge for 30 days. It was just one of the many people and tools that God would use to propel me to where I am today. I didn’t mention Diane in the story that is written in the book but I want to publicly acknowledge her in this blog post today. Visit her at http://dianecunningham.com/
If you are interested in an autographed copy of the hard cover book you can order here The Art of Brave Living Book